Forgiveness

Forgiveness: Is forgiveness from God enough?
 
Philippians 4:9 (NIV) states “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

I had a period during my life where you might say I “went off the deep end.” I had been a Christian for many years, active in the church, taught Sunday school, sang, played the piano, led songs, and had a wonderful relationship with Christ as my savior.

Then I got a job where I traveled for much of six years with a lot of people who seemed to be really having a lot of fun.  I joined in.  I still felt that I was a Christian.  However, my actions and lifestyle were definitely sinful and in the end painful.  

When I left that lifestyle and became who I knew I should me and who God wanted to me again it was devastating to look back on what I had done and who I had become.  I began attending church regularly again and was still mature enough to know that confessing my sins to God would free me from the sin and gain me His forgiveness. 

And so I did, day after day, after day.  Month after month, every time I would think of something I had done during that time I would cry out to God to forgive me.  I knew in my heart that I only had to ask once but the pain that came up every time I remembered my actions was too much to bear.  I would cry and cry.  This went on for two years.

Finally I listened to what God was trying to tell me.  It wasn’t His forgiveness I needed now.  It was mine. He had forgiven me long ago. I was the one who could not forgive me. 

Then I noticed something at church. I started to listen closely in church and meetings where forgiveness was discussed.  Never, not once, did anyone talk about forgiving yourself.  I even mentioned it to my Pastor but he never spoke on it, only on Christ's forgiveness. 

I am positive that I am not the only person who goes through this.  Even after knowing that I needed to forgive myself, it took a few months.  Today I feel whole again knowing that God has forgiven me and that I have forgiven myself.  There are people out there who probably have not forgiven me but I can only pray for them and wish them the best of everything.

What the Bible says about forgiveness

The Bible says a lot about forgiveness but does not address forgiving oneself specifically.  However in Jeremiah 31:34 (NIV) it says “No longer will they teach their neighbor, or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’ because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest,” declares the Lord. “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

Peter said, "In truth I perceive that God shows no partiality" (Acts 10:34).  If we apply this to forgiveness then God will forgive anyone who asks Him. We know we should forgive others so if we don’t forgive ourselves; we are showing partiality which not even God shows to those we would consider to be the “worst” of sinners.  

Stop beating yourself up!

When we forgive others, we are able to move on with God but in order to truly move on we must forgive ourselves strictly because God has done so.

We need to put into practice God’s forgiveness for others and for ourselves so that the God of peace will be with us.  To continually dwell on those sins as I did also is in direct opposition to what God tells us to do in Philippians 4:8. 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Phil.4:8