How to react when friends are down



A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. Proverbs 18:2

When I am down (and I do get down), when I am grieving or things are just not going well, sometimes I need to talk it out.  Are you the same?

I know that God will use the times that I am down  and the bad things that happen, as we discussed before, to draw me closer to Him.  He wants me to trust Him, to rely on Him, to call out to Him and to know that He will take care of me no matter what.

Sometimes though, I like to talk these things over with friends, other Christians, and my husband. Yet, even my husband often talks in platitudes.  "God is running the show." "It will all work out."  "Worrying won't help." "God knows what you need." "Trust in the Lord."



Yes, yes, yes and yes!  These things are all true but for me - at my lowest times - this messages don't help.  As a Christian, I know these things but I want to be angry for a minute.  I want to have a small pity party.  (Not more than a day please) but we can't deny our hurt or pain, we need to work through them.

So what should be said to us?  What would help?  What can we say to others that are hurting?

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; James 1:19 ESV

Really, the best thing for me to hear is nothing for awhile or "I'm so sorry you are going through this".  I need someone to listen and tell me they are sorry for my pain.  I don't need them to fix it or tell me all will be well or what to do.  Sometimes a hug is nice or to just be held for awhile.  And prayer is always good.

I have found myself using platitudes and trying to fix other's problems.  It is what we do when we don't know what to do or say.  Why is it so hard for us to just listen and empathize?

I don't have the answer.  I just need to think and pray about it for myself and I hope you will too.  We need each other so much especially in this world where personal contact is disappearing due to social media.  Face to face communication and compassion is so very important.

If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. Proverbs 18:13

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