We Don't Feel Like Being Kind

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, Ephesians 4:26

If we are honest with ourselves and God, we must admit that sometimes we don’t like the people we love. They make us angry. They are irritating, frustrating and, in our opinions, just not too bright. It is not true, of course, but that is how we can feel.

It is so hard to be kind to people that ‘are bugging us’. Kindness can be easier with strangers than with family and friends. Even though we love these people, once in awhile our patience and love is tested. 

These feelings can come out of nowhere. It may be the weather or something we ate. Whatever it is, the devil uses it to make us all miserable. He uses it to make us unkind, and draw us away from the joy God wants us to have in our lives. 

Obviously, the Holy Spirit is still with us, but we turn our backs on Him and allow negative feelings to overtake us. God wants us to be kind to each other, but we find ourselves crying, being crabby, hateful, sarcastic or depressed.  

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. Proverbs 10:12

These feelings, although normal to us all, cause many problems if we don’t identify the causes and make a conscience effort to fight them. We can usually be assured that whoever we are frustrated with doesn’t know what they did or didn’t do and/or didn’t do it on purpose.

For us, there is usually a ‘last straw’. No one is listening to us; our ideas are being totally disregarded. Maybe we just woke up crabby. It can be a very confusing time for everyone.

We can choose to handle these situations in a multitude of ways. We can criticize, cry, yell, or get into a fight. We can avoid the conflict altogether.  We can throw up our hands and give up trying to be heard or respected.  We can be hurtful and unkind. 

Jesus would not deal with these times of stress and strife in relationships with the anger that comes so naturally to us. 

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29 

Building each other up, even when we don’t feel like it, is the truest form of kindness. This kindness costs us and we don’t like paying the price. The hard work it takes to overcome these feelings is not what we feel like doing when we are in the midst. Even though we know the negative feelings will go away, responding with kindness is difficult.   

If we ask the Holy Spirit to work through us, take a deep breath, and pray, we can be kind and avoid making the situation worse until the feelings pass. Prayer works. The Holy Spirit has not left us alone in our pain, and we can trust the Lord to control our tongues and our actions if we let Him. 

Writing down what we are feeling and what caused them can give us insight and strength to resist our human need to strike out. Taking a break from the other person (not storming out in anger) is a good idea if we have difficulty allowing God to take control.

Kindness from the Holy Spirit can hasten the passing of negative feelings.  Kindness is not just a fruit we use with strangers or people from church. Using kindness with family and friends is, not only more difficult, but more valuable.   

Kindness fights the devil. Kindness creates a good environment and kindness breeds kindness.

Prayer:  Lord help us to be kind today, not only out in public, but to our own family and friends. Let your Holy Spirit flow kindness through us to everyone we come in contact with. When we are frustrated with people and situations, guard our words so that no hatefulness comes out in our words or actions and let the frustration pass and be replaced by your great love. Amen.