Giving and Taking Advice

The fear (respect) of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7)

Giving advice is a slippery slope. Taking advice is difficult. Respecting the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.

We need to learn when to give advice and when not to. We need to learn to not feel offended if our advice is not followed. And we need to accept the advice from others graciously, giving it serious consideration because this is what God requires.

Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. (Proverbs 19:20)

When giving advice, we only want to help and instead of listening compassionately to what the person really needs, we forge ahead trying to fix everything. It is best to draw out the heart of the problem by gently probing and asking questions about the situation. Even after hearing the struggles, giving advice may not be the prudent or desired. Allowing someone to talk is often enough for them to figure out what should be done without us having to say a word. They will know they are loved and listened to.

The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. (Proverbs 20:5)

Many of us find not giving advice to be difficult. A solution may seem obvious to us, and we want to share it. However, we are not emotionally invested in the issue. The struggling person may not see what, to us, is so clear. They may have information they have not shared. Letting them talk may be all that is needed to open their eyes to a solution. It may not be our solution but drawing them out is helping them to come to their own conclusion.

Any advice we offer should be in accordance with God’s word. Often it is best to use an example from our own lives and how God worked, or what we wish we had done differently. Our experiences may give them ideas about how to proceed or they may remember our words later. We may never know if we made an impact at all.

We all believe we have the answers to everyone else’s problems. But only God has the answers to their problems and ours. Turn first to God in prayer for advice. We should always take our burdens to the Lord and to His word. He will get us through whatever we are struggling with and He will give us wisdom when we ask for it.

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. (James 3:17)

When others are giving us advice, we might feel resentment and turn away. We need to communicate clearly if we are seeking advice or if we just want to talk. Open communication always helps avoid conflict.

God wants us to accept advice that is wise and comes from a Christian outlook. We should never take advice that encourages sin, and we should never give advice of the same. Evaluate advice given or received with the help of the Holy Spirit and make sure it is of sound doctrine.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)

We do not want to be foolish people reacting without thought to the struggles of our daily lives. After taking everything to God, it is good to seek counsel and advice from those we respect and those who are wise in the things of God. We want to bear one another’s burdens.

 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. (Luke 6:31)

In either giving or receiving advice, the Lord’s will must be central in both lives. In our own lives we can be open to the wisdom of others. When we are asked for input on another’s situations, we can pray, use scripture, and our own experience and strength to advise and give hope to those in need. Either way, we need to be wise and not foolish.

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. (Proverbs 12:15)

Prayer: Lord, help us keep our mouths shut and our hearts open. When asked, let us give advice with only Your will in mind. When we are in need, help us to be open to the wisdom of others and to Your word. Give us wisdom and strength as we bring our struggles to You. Thy will be done. Amen.