Encouraged or Discouraged
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Therefore encourage one another and build one
another up, just as you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
A negative reaction from people we love to our dreams
and goals can destroy our excitement in an instant. People we think will
encourage us and share in our joy can instead discourage us and make us feel alone.
They rain on our parade for a variety of reasons. They disapprove, they worry,
they judge (only with the greatest of concern, of course) and they can take all
optimism out of what we are eagerly anticipating.
Christians come from all walks of life, all
backgrounds and all upbringings. Life experiences color how we feel about
certain things. And, though our core belief in Christ is the same, our views on
life can be very different. When we receive negative comments, we may try to
ignore them, but our self-worth and confidence are often tied to what others
think.
We want our friends and loved ones to be as happy as
we are with our plans and experiences. Though they may have serious concerns, we
need their love and support before they share their views. Life would be more
pleasant if all of us would listen more and talk less.
The one who has knowledge uses words with
restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are
thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.
(Proverbs 17:27-28)
Sometimes we are on the
other side. We are the ones pointing out all the negative aspects of someone
else’s dream. Our views come out of our mouths before we think how they might
affect the other person. We don’t take time to think through how it may be
perceived. We forget to ask the Lord for wisdom. Though we would want them to
share in our happiness without criticism, when the tables are turned, we may
not return the favor.
There are ways that we,
as opinionated people who feel we have the answers, can support and share our
concerns without destroying the hopes and dreams of another person. With the
help of the Holy Spirit, we can be the enthusiastic friend that they need and
want.
Let each of us please his neighbor for his good,
to build him up. (Romans 15:2)
We want the best for our
friends and family. It is the reason we don’t want them to end up hurt or in
danger. It is one of the reasons that we jump in with the ‘worst that could
happen’. We play the devil’s advocate, but
it would be so much better to be the Holy Spirit’s advocate.
The Holy Spirit can help
us be encouraging while we ask questions that lead to deep thought and
reflection on the move that we perceive as unwise. Perhaps He (the Holy Spirit)
will even change our minds. We should allow the person to come to their own
conclusion and support them whatever they end up deciding.
“So
whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the
Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 7:12)
It is not easy to be joyful
with others who have different ideas and passions that scare us. It is
difficult to support something we think is a big mistake. But we must react in
the way we want others to react for us. The Lord asks that we support each
other, live in peace, pray for, and build each other up. He does not say to do
this only when we agree or when our dreams align.
We must watch what we
say and how we say it. We do not want to be a dream killer. We don’t know how
the Lord is moving in another person’s life. We need to speak encouragingly, while
looking at all sides, have faith that God will protect and guide, and pray for
their success. We must take the time to think seriously about what we would
like to hear if we were in their place. We need to encourage, not discourage
knowing that God is working in the situation.
And we know that for those who love God all
things work together for good, for those who are called according to his
purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Prayer: Father always help us to be Your
advocate and encourage others in Your name . We may have concerns for the another’s journey, but
we ask that you give us loving words that will show how much we care about
their welfare. Give us the thoughts and questions or teach us to be still. We
can only balance our concern and enthusiasm with Your help and wisdom, so we ask
for an abundance of both when faced with these situations. We ask for this in the name of your Son,
Jesus Christ. Amen
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