Judgements
This is something I am compelled to write about. I hope it doesn't offend anyone.
My husband and I (with several friends) have a ministry called Discovering Solutions that simply tries to help inmates transition from prison to real life.
This ministry has been a real learning experience not only about our prison system but also about people in general. This blog post is about some of what I have learned about both, in particular, concerning inmates with charges of sexual assault.
We have met and have in our program three men who have sexual assault charges on their records. Here are their stories.
The first one spent four years in prison when he broke up with his girlfriend. She tried very hard to get him to come back and when that was not happening, she reported him for rape. No evidence, no witnesses but in our justice system the woman is more often than not, believed.
The second young man was about 18 when he owed money to a woman and her mother. They turned him in for rape but since there was no evidence or witnesses, the charge was reduced to level 2 sexual assault and was settled out of court to avoid 14 years. Instead he did four years. He said to me one day, "I've done a lot of terrible things that I should be in prison for so I was ok being in for those years. I take responsibility for the things I've done, but I won't take responsibility for that. I would never hurt a woman." In reading the transcripts of his pre-trial hearings, it was clear the judge did not want him to go away for 14 years. That charge is in appeal at this time.
The third man is in his 40s, doing 4 years for sexual assault. He is married with two young children, owns his own business and used to visit the prisons with his father who is a minister. For some reason, a woman he scorned, accused him of assaulting her when he was in his 20s. No evidence, no witnesses, just her story of 20 years ago. His wife and children visit him.
All three of these men are now Christians doing the best they can.
We also have met serious sexual predators. Those who have been caught time and again with evidence against them and witnesses. We pray for these who are so very evil. We know that God changes from the inside out.
It has become clear to us that something is wrong with our system. We do not know for sure what happened in each of the above situations but we do know that without evidence or witnesses, women do lie and can manipulate to get their revenge.
Here is what we have learned about people when faced with these inmates. There seem to be three types.
The first type of people are those who do not believe in the possible innocence of those charged with sex crimes. They are afraid of them and will not accept them in any way.
The second type of people understand that they may never know that truth but that God has forgiven the inmates and so they forgive them too. They may not want to be the closest of friends but they are willing to help out and show God's love keeping in mind that to God all sin is the same.
There is no sin that is worse or better than another yet we treat burglary, drunkenness, and sexual immorality (that is all around us) and things to be easily forgiven.
The third type of people we have met, believe the inmates, love them and support them. Discovering Solutions thanks God everyday for these people. These inmates are embarrassed and always struggling to make a better life, fighting the persecution they face because of these charges.
I know, from working with the prison system that if I wanted to, I could put any man in prison and it would take less than a month just by claiming sexual assault. People would believe me. Why would I make up such a thing? It could happen to any of us at any time.
To the men reading this - NEVER be alone in an office or classroom without the door being open or someone being with you. Don't pick up women hitch hikers. In Discovering Solutions we have mentors for our inmates and it is always men with men and women with women. It is sad that we have to live this way. Our society has people who like to get revenge and don't care whose lives they ruin.
I am going to let you draw your own conclusions about these inmates and yourself. I know where I stand. We must be careful, must research, must discern the spirits as Christ told us to.
God Bless You
My husband and I (with several friends) have a ministry called Discovering Solutions that simply tries to help inmates transition from prison to real life.
This ministry has been a real learning experience not only about our prison system but also about people in general. This blog post is about some of what I have learned about both, in particular, concerning inmates with charges of sexual assault.
We have met and have in our program three men who have sexual assault charges on their records. Here are their stories.
The first one spent four years in prison when he broke up with his girlfriend. She tried very hard to get him to come back and when that was not happening, she reported him for rape. No evidence, no witnesses but in our justice system the woman is more often than not, believed.
The second young man was about 18 when he owed money to a woman and her mother. They turned him in for rape but since there was no evidence or witnesses, the charge was reduced to level 2 sexual assault and was settled out of court to avoid 14 years. Instead he did four years. He said to me one day, "I've done a lot of terrible things that I should be in prison for so I was ok being in for those years. I take responsibility for the things I've done, but I won't take responsibility for that. I would never hurt a woman." In reading the transcripts of his pre-trial hearings, it was clear the judge did not want him to go away for 14 years. That charge is in appeal at this time.
The third man is in his 40s, doing 4 years for sexual assault. He is married with two young children, owns his own business and used to visit the prisons with his father who is a minister. For some reason, a woman he scorned, accused him of assaulting her when he was in his 20s. No evidence, no witnesses, just her story of 20 years ago. His wife and children visit him.
All three of these men are now Christians doing the best they can.
We also have met serious sexual predators. Those who have been caught time and again with evidence against them and witnesses. We pray for these who are so very evil. We know that God changes from the inside out.
It has become clear to us that something is wrong with our system. We do not know for sure what happened in each of the above situations but we do know that without evidence or witnesses, women do lie and can manipulate to get their revenge.
Here is what we have learned about people when faced with these inmates. There seem to be three types.
The first type of people are those who do not believe in the possible innocence of those charged with sex crimes. They are afraid of them and will not accept them in any way.
The second type of people understand that they may never know that truth but that God has forgiven the inmates and so they forgive them too. They may not want to be the closest of friends but they are willing to help out and show God's love keeping in mind that to God all sin is the same.
There is no sin that is worse or better than another yet we treat burglary, drunkenness, and sexual immorality (that is all around us) and things to be easily forgiven.
The third type of people we have met, believe the inmates, love them and support them. Discovering Solutions thanks God everyday for these people. These inmates are embarrassed and always struggling to make a better life, fighting the persecution they face because of these charges.
I know, from working with the prison system that if I wanted to, I could put any man in prison and it would take less than a month just by claiming sexual assault. People would believe me. Why would I make up such a thing? It could happen to any of us at any time.
To the men reading this - NEVER be alone in an office or classroom without the door being open or someone being with you. Don't pick up women hitch hikers. In Discovering Solutions we have mentors for our inmates and it is always men with men and women with women. It is sad that we have to live this way. Our society has people who like to get revenge and don't care whose lives they ruin.
I am going to let you draw your own conclusions about these inmates and yourself. I know where I stand. We must be careful, must research, must discern the spirits as Christ told us to.
God Bless You
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